- person: what kind of music do you listen to?
- me: *dramatically jumps up and turns in a circle and finishes with jazz hands* showtunes, muthafucka
i would be the absolute worst dog show judge ever
all of them would win
it would be chaos
*stands to the left of chris evans and starts telling jokes, hoping*
dude, being addicted to fanfiction is so weird. You stay in front of your computer for hours a day reading different versions of those same characters falling in love and fucking again, again, again and again. And yet, we’re looking for more, creating more, making fanarts because, apparently, nothing in the world is more fulfilling than fictional love, the love we cannot have. That’s either inspiring or unsettling. Or both.
One time this girl really hated me and wanted to ruin my reputation or something so one day i was talking to a boy and she came up and really obnoxiously said “you know she has a crush on you right?” and he was like “man i hope so or else this is gonna get really awkward”
She fuckin told my boyfriend that i liked him
50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”